


when you hear the banjo strum

by ficfucker



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, M/M, Serial Killer!Shane, im finally doing it i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 03:52:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13802832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficfucker/pseuds/ficfucker
Summary: shane has been planning something big





	when you hear the banjo strum

Shane, was, as he considered himself in most aspects, critical of what he was doing. It had taken him a while to devise the whole scheme, really, years of turning it over in his mind until all the little gears clicked into place.

  
And in reality? Things worked more smoothly than he had imagined.

A bit more blood, depending on method, but hey, nobody was perfect.

 

one

Shane was careful to make the drop look as casual and natural as possible in case anyone in the offices or nearby happened to be looking in his general direction. He let his phone slip out of his back pocket, precisely so it was positioned under the back wheel of his car, then got in with Ryan.

  
“And Keith was saying something, I’m not even really sure what it was about, Keith was like ‘Oh, Ryan, you should be part of it!’ and you think by now I’d be smart enough to never get involved with anything Try Guy related,” Ryan was going off, talking a bit with his hands as he fumbled with his seatbelt in the passenger seat.

  
“And you got involved anyway?” Shane grinned, shifting into reverse.

  
Ryan gave an exhausted chuckle. “Unfortunately. And I’m fuckin’ positive I-I’m gonna end up with a pie on my face. Literally!” Ryan burst into an actual laugh then, but it was cut short when there was an audible crunch from Shane’s phone being pressed into the parking lot asphalt as Shane backed over it.

  
“Shit, dude, did you run over a water bottle or something?” Ryan asked, snaking out of the seatbelt he had just clicked into place.

 

two

It would be easy to replace a phone. Shane had totalled several of them before; dropped while wall climbing for a video, carelessly placed on the edge of a pool and falling in, but now he had to play it off as an accident while also convincing people he didn’t want to replace it.

  
That, in comparison, seemed a less easy.

  
He had mentioned it during lunch at the office when a coworker had asked, claiming it was fun to be so disconnected and that a laptop was enough plugin for him.

  
He couldn’t have a phone. Too risky.

If he was out late, people, namely Ryan, might call looking for him and ruin the whole thing.

If he became suspect for any reason, it would be easily tracked.

Maybe it was just paranoid thoughts. But regardless, Shane had a mental list of precautions and he had finally started in on it, marking the first tick off.

 

three

“I think I’m gonna uh, maybe… pick up some night classes?” Shane offered while he stirred the spaghetti he was making for him and Ryan.

“Oh, yeah? Finally cramming some knowledge into that big head of yours?” Ryan commented from the couch. He was scrolling through his phone, half-listening to the television play nonsense, the perfect time for Shane to bring this up.

Shane nodded though he knew Ryan couldn’t see him. “Yep. It’s not just rental space up here, you know.”

Ryan accepted this as truth and didn’t press any deep questions into his boyfriend, and they had dinner together like the did every night, and a wonderful wave of relief washed over Shane. He loved Ryan, without a doubt, and hated to lie to him, no matter the circumstance, but was glad Ryan trusted him so easily.

 

four

The idea, admittedly, came from the Long Island serial killer.

But, rather, reversed.

Shane had watched countless documentaries on it and if anyone asked, he could jump right up and say that he was thinking about pitching it to Ryan for an episode of Unsolved.

And maybe, as confidence in his abilities grew Shane would pitch it to his partner.

For the time, Shane took notes from the Long Island killer and planned to do the opposite.

Pose as a female prostitute online, look for men interested, do a quick Google search of their histories, and bingo! Shane found numerous sex offenders through photo searches that had contacted him, a whole slew of them, in fact. Pedophiles, rapists, domestic serial abusers.  
And of course, Shane had thought it out.

He wasn’t going to run around killing random citizens who didn’t deserve death. He was,  
instead, cleaning the world (or perhaps, more truthfully, the L.A area) of shitty and potentially dangerous men.

 

five

His dad had given him a cowboy hat as a gift when he was 11. It was black leather and had been sitting in the back of his closet for countless years, and now Shane had use for it again.

He owned enough flannel, and a denim jacket with wool lining that made him look like he belonged in Brokeback Mountain, so when dressed in his whole getup, Shane felt like he could pass as an “out-of-towner”. A subtle accent, a hat that was genuine and worn, different cologne than he usually wore.

Looking in the body-length mirror in the bathroom, Shane thought he made a dashing Banjo McClintock.

**Author's Note:**

> wanted to write something out of my comfort zone and thus this was born
> 
> unsure if im going to continue it 
> 
> always welcoming comments and feedback!
> 
> don't forget kudos 
> 
> find me on tumblr as parttime-ghosthunter!


End file.
